I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
