Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize