Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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