I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
