So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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