nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
time to smoke my breakfast
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
