he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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