So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
