I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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