WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
