If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
