dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
