i barfeds in our rink
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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