Me too!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
