All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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