I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
