One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
