That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
