You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
