I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
