I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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