We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize