I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
