I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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