It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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