But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
