she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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