i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
