She is in my trunk
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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