So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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