Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
