The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I didn't notice because vodka
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
