That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
