Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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