So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
