Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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