yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
