Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
