We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
