are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
