You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
