I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
