It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
