According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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