come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
