I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
