she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
