But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
