i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize