i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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