Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
