So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
