Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
