Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
