Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
