Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
