He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize