and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
